Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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