kristin has been a bad kristin
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
