At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize