bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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