I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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