Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i am craving dick and cupcakes
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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