If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
