Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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