Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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