They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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