I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
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I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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