I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
