a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
