North Korea, Best Korea!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
