I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
