I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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