I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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