I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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