i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
