After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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