Christians are straight up FREAKS
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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