Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
