woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
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Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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