How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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