She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
