So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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