i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
