Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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