My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
