just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize