So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You ruined the universe
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
