I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
