Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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