1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
