His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
