"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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