She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
