My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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