I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
