I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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