i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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