it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
