He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
