I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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