Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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