i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
