Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
