I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
