She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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