So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
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i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
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Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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