Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
