I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
