We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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