i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize