Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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