C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize