1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I am available for nakedness
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
