She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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