census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
