I just pynch a tree in the face
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
