Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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