wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it's great music for shaving your balls
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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