This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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