it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
