i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
worst night to have a conscience
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
