brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
