I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
